Anonymous ’17

On Gender Equality in the Bedroom

We’ve all that that hook-up where there’s instant connection. Witty banter is flowing both ways, the scene gets steamy quick, the buildup feels promising, only for the actual action to be a disappointing act finished far too quickly. Your partner is relieved, elated, feeling all things good, and you’re lying there frustrated and full of discontent.

As a woman, it can feel daunting to ask to have the same returned for you. Daunting because, as a woman, I’ve been trained to believe the male orgasm is the priority. Daunting because I really don’t think he’ll know what to do with my confusing downtown terrain. Daunting because of the reaction I receive when I simply ask for orgasmic equality.

“It’s going to take you so much longer than me to get off.”

“You realize you’re lucky, right? No guy does this.” (In reference to my request for a 1:1 orgasm ratio)

Yeah, I realize no guy does this. That doesn’t make him the hero, or me grateful. The only thing that makes me realize is the continuing gender inequality.

Men seek hook-ups for pleasure. Someone please give me an example of why that shouldn’t be mutual. Orgasms aren’t the end goal, but there should be equal levels of effort on both sides for whatever the chosen goal is. Maybe boys are embarrassed they can’t conquer the unknown, maybe they’re lazy, maybe they’re really just the pigs I’ve known them to be. Regardless, to let your partner know they are your equal on all levels, please prioritize their sexual needs equal to your own. And women, know your worth enough to demand it. Break the mold.